3 Things to Help You Avoid Being Eaten Alive by a Tionberdger

by Kevin on February 28, 2012

The house that I grew up in had a circle. By this I mean that you could go through my brother’s room into a hallway that led to the kitchen, and then from the kitchen into the living room and back in my brother’s room…a circle. You could run and run and run and never have to stop. Thank goodness for that because I was in that house being chased by a Tionberdger.

Most people don’t know about Tionberdgers. It is a hybrid monster from the depths of hell where tigers, lions, bears, and badgers are all combined into one animal. They have nasty claws, but when it was chasing me that night, those claws probably saved me.

Half of the circle was carpet and the other half was tile. As I ran the circle, adrenaline pumping through my body, I could hear the monster’s claws rip through carpet or slide on tile.

Rule #1: When running in a circle from anything, if you get too far ahead, then your attacker will turn and meet you head on.

I always kept the monster about half way around the circle. Before I left the tile I would make sure that the monster had just reached it; same way with the carpet. I wanted to stay just far enough in front, but not too far.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, I decided that I couldn’t do this all night and ducked into my room (a dead end) and jumped in the bed with my covers pulled up over my head. The Tionberdger ran past my door, continuing the circle. I breathed a sigh of relief until I heard it stop…and sniff.

I could hear it turn around. A low growl issued forth as it took steps toward my room that made the floor groan with the weight of the monster. I began to shake involuntarily.

I couldn’t see it because of the covers, but I could hear it in my room now. It walked right up to the bed and I waited for T-Rex teeth to bite me in half. I prayed that it would be a quick death. But instead of it tearing me up, it went under the bed. Now was my chance!!

I could jump out of bed and hopefully slam my door before it could get out from underneath the bed and I could make it to the front door and out into the night. After that, I was just goin’ to wing it.

I threw the covers back and jumped out of bed, slamming my bedroom door as I exited towards the front door. I knew I only had seconds to unlock the front door and get away; luring it away from my family and hoping to save myself as well.

I could hear it coming. I heard the door swing open with a crash just as I got the front door unlocked. I was out!!

But wait! The screen door was locked. Only mom’s know how to lock and unlock a screen door! I fumbled for some sort of latch, but I was nearly hysterical because I could hear the Tionberdger coming for me. It was picking up speed.

Finally, I found the latch and threw open the screen door and was out on the porch. That’s when it got me.

It wrapped me up and screamed my name. I didn’t know they could talk. It even sounded like my mom.

She said, “What in the world are you doin’ running out of the house in your underwear young man?”

I quit fighting and turned around. It was my mom and I was really awake.

I had awoke from the dream with the covers over my head; convinced that there was a monster on the other side of my bed. I jumped out and all of that took place, but it was my mom coming after me that I heard, not the Tionberdger.

That seemed so real at the time, but telling it to you now makes it seem a little funny. I was so scared. Thirty-four year old men aren’t supposed to have those kinds of dreams. Not really, I was about ten.

But even that night when I told my mom, as soon as I started re-telling what the dream was, the fear started to slip away.

We all have fears and insecurities, but I’m giving you three things that I want you to learn to say out loud. Saying things out loud reveals truth where lies can live in silence. You don’t have to be scared or insecure anymore.

They’re not hard, so memorize these and tell them to yourself every day…maybe every hour.

God chose me!

“You did not choose me, I chose you…” John 15:16

I won’t be afraid anymore.

Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid…” Matthew 28:10

I like me ’cause God does.

Everythin’ you do is great and that includes how you stitched me together. Psalm 139:14

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  • From the time I was five until just a few years ago I had nightmares on an almost nightly basis. I never got out of bed and ran around because of them, but man I woke up in a sweat everytime. For most of this time i didn’t have a relationship with Christ but I grabbed onto these and other truths as soon as I knew about them because let me tell you, my fears very rarely left after I woke up from my dreams.

  • Jean

    And, because prefect love casts out fear, according to somewhere in 1st John, rembering how loved we are helps a lot, i my experience

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