Are you lonely?

by Kevin on July 14, 2010

Are you lonely? Do you find yourself feeling like you live on a ranch in Antarctica? There are over 5 billion people living in this world, but does it seem like you don’t have a single one you can talk to or count on? When was the last time you sat down with someone and had a heart to heart talk about life, death, or brandin’ calves? I’d like to speak to those that feel this way or have been through this in recent times. What I have to say might surprise you.

My first real ranching job was on the San Pedro Ranch in South Texas. This job had made me choose between my high school sweetheart and doing what I loved. I can look back now and see that God had different plans for both of us, but you couldn’t have told me that back then.

I was the only person on the ranch that spoke English and my Spanish wouldn’t order a good tamale. The TV I had only picked up a station out of Piedras Negras in Mexico. Day in and day out, I just worked. Even though I was surrounded by three to four of the best cowboys I have ever worked with, I still felt all alone.

The fact that I worked seven days a week for $600 a month and my truck payment was half of that means that I didn’t have any money for playing around. I was too tired most of the time anyway. I just went to my little bunkhouse and hung out there all by myself.

Does this sound like your life or the life of someone you know? So many people go through this on a daily basis. Some people have moved to a different city or state and just haven’t met anyone yet. Others might have done things in the past that have alienated them from the masses. Still others just don’t have the social skills to develop relationships. You might even be the perfect American husband or wife with 2.3 kids, a dog, a great salary, and so lonely you wonder what the meaning of life is.

As terrible as it is to feel all alone, regardless of how many people might live in your house, loneliness might just be the greatest thing that could happen to you. Loneliness can be purifying because it gives you plenty of time and no excuses for sitting down and havin’ a hot cup of coffee with the Lord.

Jesus himself said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Being lonely generally means that there is a problem with the giving and receiving of love. You will never be able to do this very effectively without knowing how much you are loved. There is a man in Christ Jesus that loved you so much that he went and suffered a horrible death just for you.

You have tried to cure your loneliness in so many ways before. You have tried to cure your fear of sleeping alone by sleeping with anyone. Your fear of doing without has only resulted in debt and emptiness. You mask the loneliness with defiance and treat the open wound with hostility towards those who try to help.

God does not cause any of these feelings or make these things happen, but he did send his Son to be the cure. Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life” and in our loneliness we have time to ponder on the greater meaning of this pure and simple statement.

You have never been alone. You have always been loved. And someone loves you enough that he gave his very life in exchange for an eternal relationship with you. One day you might see that the greatest gift you ever had was having everything stripped away so that you could find the one thing that was truly important. He has been waiting on you.

If you feel this was directed right at you or someone you know, that is God’s way of speaking to you. Share this with someone and if you need someone to talk to or have questions, I am here for you. You are not alone. My email is and I have a friend that I would like you to meet.

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  • I feel and live that way sometimes. I’m starting to get a social life offline though and online as long as ppl are on FB, Tweeting, Blogging, and in the chat rooms at online churches and elsewhere i’m good there. I really liked this post, helped me see that I’m not alone.

    • Kevin

      Good point Becky. I love the social networks, but they are no substitute when feelings of loneliness occur.

  • I tend to feel alone when I go through struggles. It usually takes God using someone to reach out and do something unexpected for me to help me realize that God is always present.

  • Lonliness is especially tough when it isn’t deliberate. Even as a Christian, when I suddenly find myself alone I have to deliberately remember that God is with me always, and that I am never alone so long as I am in Him, but man it’s hard to remember when I look around and see empty space. Thanks for sharing kevin!

    • Kevin

      Sometimes we use that “alone” time to do things we shouldn’t do. When we feel lonely, we are not alone. When we think that no one will know what we are doing, we must remember that God is with us then too.

  • I struggle with feeling lonely a lot, which is funny in some ways, because my job requires me to be surrounded by people and yet there are times I feel like the loneliest guy in the world. In some ways, I feel like I have tons of “friends,” but no really close friends. Thanks for reminding me that I am never alone even when I feel like I am.

    • Kevin

      I have never been as lonely as I have been since becoming a preacher. I think this was God’s way of telling me to focus on him instead of partying with others. That whole refiner’s fire thing I guess.

      • I think that we are all created to be in relationship. Sometimes it proves to be more difficult for a pastors to navigate intimate relationships with those that they are trying to shepherd. However, I think all of us in the ministry would be much better for it if we could figure out how to make it work. I also have been thankful for many of the new friends that I have made in our 31DBBB group that share my same struggles and have begun to support me.

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