Dumb Things That Smart People Do and What We Can Learn From Them

by Kevin on August 15, 2012

Many folks like to have people over for supper or dinner…we like to have people over for breakfast. And it was at one of these breakfasts that I had one of the biggest laughs ever.

We had invited a young lady that my wife new from Twitter over for one of our breakfasts. She was from Chicago and was in Colorado Springs doing some missionary training. We gave her directions to the ranch, but then we got a frantic phone call.

She had never opened a gate before.

She sat in her car and I had to send my daughter down to open the gate for her…but that’s not even close to the funny part.

The next week we invited her back and she brought a friend. To get the full picture, I must defer for a second and describe the newest guest that would be arriving.

Imagine Scarlet O’Hara as a kindergarten teacher and you’re on the right track. Throw in “way-above” average intelligence and a strong, yet not overpowering Georgia accent and you’re getting closer. Oh, and she hates to be wrong. (I’ll write another time of how she felt about eating mountain oysters without realizing what they were.)

So when they arrive at the ranch, Stacey is driving so she makes Scarlet get out and open the gate. This isn’t a wire gate or anything. It is a twelve foot nice tubular green gate. You do have to kind of pick up on it to swing it open and it’s just a chain looped over a bolt to undo it.

Scarlet gets out in her high heels (I really don’t know what she was wearing, but I can’t picture her in anything else) and gets the gate open. Stacey drives through and waits for her to close it and get back in.

And she waits…and she waits…and she waits.

Finally, the passenger door opens and Scarlet gets back in…breathing laboriously.

“What took you so long?” Stacey asks.

With a huff of breath, Scarlet then turns to her chauffeur and exclaims, “I had to climb over the gate after I shut it!!”

I would have given anything to have seen that from a rear view mirror.

Unfortunately, I see that type of stuff happen every day in Christianity and it’s not as funny. People take the simpleness of the gospel and make it completely complicated.

If your Christian life seems complicated, use these three things to simplify your relationship with God:


Most people I know struggle with prayer. They don’t “think” they are doing it right. Quit thinking and just talk to God.

I know that God would rather you just talk to him all day rather than have some half-made-up, half-try to use fancy words-prayer that doesn’t mean anything to you or God.

When you talk to the Boss, don‘t run your mouth off like an auctioneer that don‘t know when to say, “Sold!” Just repeatin‘ the same words over and over and over again don‘t get your prayers answered. Don‘t be like those kinds of guys, cause the Boss knows exactly what you need before you ever open your mouth! Matthew 6:7-8 (Simplified Cowboy Version)

Read Your Bible

A lot of people don’t read their bibles because they say they don’t understand it. That must be the realization of the century!! (Heavy on sarcasm right there)

People have been attempting to understand God’s Word since they were first written on a scroll. Why do you think you must be smarter than 3,000 years worth of people?

The thing about the bible is that when you read it for the right reasons (not just to say you’ve read the whole bible), God will show you what he wants you to know…when the time is right.

Your Word is a lamp to my boots and a light in my barn full of pitchforks. Psalm 119:105 (Simplified Cowboy Version)

Go To Church

I’m so surprised by how many people get caught on the wrong side of this gate.

A couple of things to remember about going to church:

  • There will always be hypocrites in the church. The biggest hypocrites are the ones that use hypocrites as an excuse not to go to church.
  • There will always be things that can keep you from church. The devil will cause your cows to bloat and your horses to colic on Sunday morning more than any other time.
  • By church, I mean hanging out with other like minded cowboys and cowgirls for the purpose of worshiping our Lord.
  • We worship God to give back to Him for what He has already done for us…not to get more of what we don’t have.

Don’t give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing…Hebrews 10:25

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  • I gotta ask…was your gate closer blonde? because that sure sound like a blonde joke! Thanks for the words, Brother. It was good timing!

  • PaulH

    Why is so hard to keep it simple? I welcome the reminder as I forget it often.

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