Ecclesiastes 8 – Simplified Cowboy Version

by Kevin on January 10, 2011

The boys had been mighty blessed on their first day out. Those cur dawgs had good noses and had busted out some wild cattle that day. That evenin’ they had four cows with calves, eight yearlin’ heifers and four yearlin’ bulls in their little ketch pen. Yes sir a mighty productive day fer a couple young cow-hunters.

“Enoch, ya got any more stories like ‘at last ‘un ya read me last night?” asked Cisto as he was pourin’ ‘em both a cupa Cubano after supper. “Got a whole Book fulla good stories, Cisto, but I been a-studyin’ in Ecclesiastes so I got a good ‘un picked out fer us tonight. Y’all gather ‘round this little fire, and yeah you can bring yer pups again, why not?”

Ecclesiastes 8 (SCV)

1 Sure is a good thing to be a smart feller, and able to ponder on an’ figger things out. Bein’ smart like that sure ‘nuff lights up a feller’s face and smooth’s out all them wrinkles ‘round ‘is eyes some.

2 Now ya need ta foller the Ranch Manager’s orders since ya vowed to The Boss that you’d do it when ya signed on.

3 Don’t y’all be a-shirkin’ yer duties, and don’t be a palaverin’ with that runnin-iron crowd, ‘cause the Ranch Manager can do whatever he wants.

4 His orders is backed by the Word of the Owner. Nary a one can resist nor question ‘em.

5 Y’all who obey his standin’ orders won’t be a-gettin’ the boot. A smart feller’ll find a time an’ a way ta do the right thing,

6 ‘cause there be a time an’ a way for ever’thing, even when a hand is in trouble.

7 Truth be told, how can folks avoid what they don’t know is a-comin’ at ‘em?

8 Ain’t a one a us can hang on when it’s time to cross over ta the other side a Jordan Creek. Ain’t none a us can prevent that. Ain’t  no escapin’ that obligation, that dark battle. And in the face of death, outlawry sure ain’t a-gonna save the outlaws.

9 I’ve pondered some, ‘bout wut all goes on here under the sun, where folks have the power ta hurt each other.

10 I’ve seen outlaws buried with honor. Yet they was the very same ones wut frequented Church of a Sunday mornin’ an’ are now spoke highly of in the same town where they committed their crimes! Ain’t none a this makes a lick a sense.

11 When a crime ain’t punished quick, folks thinks it’s aiight ta do wrong.

12 But even though a hand sins a hunnerd times and still lives a long time, I know that those who stand in respect, wonderment and amazement of The Boss will be better off.

13 Outlaws ain’t a-gonna prosper, ‘cause they don’t stand in respect a The Boss. Their days are numbered and their time’s a-comin’.

14 And that ain’t all that’s senseless in this here ol’ world. In this life, good folks is more often than not treated as if’n they was outlaws, an’ outlaws is oft’ treated as if’n they was good. This jest don’t make no sense a-tall!

15 So it be my recommendation to y’all to loosen up a bit, ‘cause there ain’t nothin’ better for folks in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way folks’ll experience some little bit a happiness ‘long with all the hard work  under the sun that The Boss gives ‘em.

16 Whils’t a-learnin’ how ta be one a them smart fellers, an’ takin note of folks’s burdens on this here rock, I discovered that there ain’t no end to their doin’s, day and night.

17 I done figgerd out that ain’t a one a us can know wut all The Boss is a-doin’ under the sun. Not even the smartest fellers can dig up ever’thing, no matter what they claim.

“Now Cisto, ya got ta unerstand that this fellers recommendation to loosen up a bit didn’t mean it’s ok to run aroun’ drinkin’ shine and chasin’ them fallen doves over at the fancy house there in Arcadia. Wut he’s a-pertainin’ to is that it’s ok to enjoy life by havin’ a decent meal and a good cuppa coffee with your family and friends and cuttin’ up with your pards, doin’ things that’d bring a smile to the Boss’s face whilst havin’ fun at the same time, and I’m pretty sure he likes a good, clean joke ever’ now and agin as well. Meanin’ jest ‘cause y’all try ta foller in His Boy’s footsteps y’all don’t need ta be a-wearin’ a long solemn face an’ actin’ serious alla time.”

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