Get Your Finger Out of Your Ear

by Kevin on January 28, 2011

The Registered Herd and the Cull Bull

24 Here’s another cowboy story that Jesus told: “God’s Green Pasture is like a rancher that had a herd of registered Angus cattle. 25 But when the cows were all comin’ into season, the Outlaw came and put an old mangy, ugly, half Holstein, half Watusi, half buffalo bull in the pasture with the registered herd. 26 When calving time came, some of the cows produced fine, pure-bred Angus calves. But some cows produced an ugly, scrawny calf not worth nothing. 27 The cowboys went and told the rancher that another bull must have got to the cows.

28 ‘That no-account Outlaw must have done this to me!’ the rancher said.

‘Do you want us to shoot the cross bred calves?’ the cowboys asked.

29 He told them, ‘No! You might hit one of the good calves. I’ve seen your shootin’. 30 Let all of ‘em grow up and we’ll sort ‘em out during shippin’ season. That’s when I’ll tell the sorters to pen them up and burn ‘em.’”

The Bull Seed

31 Here’s another one of Jesus’ tales: “God’s Green Pasture is like the seed of a bull. 32 It’s so small you can’t even see it, but when it is planted in the right spot, it grows and becomes the biggest thing in the pasture one day. It is the protector of the herd and won’t let anything harm those it looks after.

The Sourdough Starter

33 Jesus told ‘em this: “The Boss’ Ranch is like a sourdough starter used by the chuckwagon cook to make biscuits. Even though the starter is the smallest part, it works its way through the flour and other ingredients to make the biscuits what they were meant to be.”

34 Jesus constantly used stories like these when he talked to the cowboys and cowgirls. Truth be known, he never spoke to them in any other way. 35 This was because many, many moons ago, it was said,

“I will speak to you in cowboy stories. I will explain mysteries hidden since the beginnin’ of time.”

The Registered Cattle and Cull Bull Explained

36 Jesus left the day-workers outside and went into the bunkhouse with his cowboys. They sat down on the bunks and asked him to explain the story about the registered cattle and the cull bull.

37 “All right,” he said. “I am the registered bull that makes everything pure. 38 The pasture where the cattle lived is like this old world we’re living in right now. The pure bred calves are like the cowboys that live for the Boss. The cull calves are people that follow the Outlaw. 39 The enemy who put the cull bull in the pasture is the Devil, or you might know him as the Outlaw. Shippin’ season is when this old world will end. The sorters will be the angels.

40 “Just like the cull calves are sorted out and burned, so it will be in the end. 41 I will send my winged riders to take away anything in my Pasture that is not pure and from me. 42 They will throw the culls into the brandin’ fire and burn them up. On that day there will be a lot of bawlin’ and pain. 43 Then those that are pure because of me will shine like the noon day sun. Any who want to better listen close to this and understand!”

Matthew 13:24-43 (Simplified Cowboy Version)

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  • Don Coyote

    ” the Outlaw came and put an old mangy, ugly, half Holstein, half Watusi, half buffalo bull in the pasture with the registered herd.”

    That’d sure be an ugly critter, particularly ’cause he’d have 3 halves.

    My math cain’t make it work, cowboy.

    • Kevin

      It’s God’s math, we can’t understand it. lol

  • This is great!!! I could identify with the sourdough biscuit starter and the chuckwagon cook!!! Thanks for taking the time to translate this for us 😉 🙂 🙂 I have a photo of a field full of cattle here in Oregon. I took it one day while out driving. It was just something I enjoyed seeing, so I took a photo to capture the moment. It’s nice to know that God watches over the ENTIRE herd 🙂 🙂 Greetings from Oregon, Heather 🙂

    • Kevin

      He has a mighty big herd to watch over, but I love the fact that he not only knows us individually, but also how many hairs we have on our heads.

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