Going Old Testament at the DMV

by Kevin on May 23, 2012

Monday was my daughter’s birthday. Her 15th birthday to be exact. A special rite of passage happens at this age…you get to drive a car.

Well, that’s normally how it’s supposed to happen.

I took Reilly out of school a little early to go do some “family business”. After having to get an affidavit notarized (really Colorado?), I drove her to Castle Rock to the Department of Moronic Villains to get her permit. Only thing is, that location doesn’t do learner’s permits.

I bypassed forty people waiting in line, and without taking a number, I inquired as to the next location I would have to drive my daughter an hour to. Since it was already four in the afternoon, we pulled a hood-sliding Bo and Luke Duke impression and headed for Parker.

When we arrived, there wasn’t even a seat to be had. I walked over and for the first time in my West Texas raised life, I pulled a number out of a red corn grinding looking thing. I didn’t like that number so I took three more only to find out they were sequential.

Our number was 469 and they were on 433…this might take a while.

But none of that mattered. Reilly was excited and so was her dad!

Being at the Department of Moronic Villains is kind of like watching a UFC fight without any punching. Employees are yelling at patrons and the patrons are trying their best to do what is right. It’s kind of like getting mad at your horse because it doesn’t understand how a knight moves in a chess game.

There was one particular employee who prided himself in his authority as assistant manager. He verbally abused people the whole time. Kind of like that old lady from church. The one who everyone hated because she thought she could say anything she wanted to and no one would say anything back.

You want to guess who we got when 469 came up? Yup….

When we arrived at his window, he asked us our purpose for being there. I smiled and in my best West Texas hospitality and good humoredness, I told him that we were there to get my daughter’s learning permit. He took the papers we had brought and said, “Well, we’ll see about that.”

Close inspection of my smile would have revealed it going from sincere to sinister…but he was oblivious to that.

After looking everything over, he asked if I was Reilly’s biological father. I told him that I wasn’t her biological father, but I was her real dad. Biology had nothing to do with being a father.

His next statement nearly caused him to lose some teeth.

With a sarcastic smile he said, “Step-dads don’t mean anything in here. Her mother will need to come in and sign this.” He then looked passed us and yelled, “470!”

I was very tempted to go all out Elisha on him. In my moment of fury, the Old Testament story seemed very fitting:

23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. “Go on up, you baldhead!” they said. “Go on up, you baldhead!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. 2 Kings 2:23-24

But I didn’t….

I gathered my papers and thanked the man….and then pushed his corn-grinder number feeder off into the floor.

I didn’t do that either…but I wanted to at that moment.

We walked out and got in the car. I had worked so hard to do something nice for my daughter and now I was the reason she didn’t get her permit. As we got in the car, Reilly said something to me that I’ll never forget as long as I live.

“You know dad, maybe God knows what’s best and I wasn’t supposed to drive today. We’ll come back and I’ll get that permit. Besides, I’d rather have you as a dad than have a permit to drive.”

Cowboys may not cry, but they can get choked up when it comes to their daughters.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

So here’s a shout out to all the “step” parents out there making a difference in their kid’s lives.

I want to especially thank my step-dad Jerry Capers and my step-mom Laurie Weatherby. I love you both!!

If you know someone that is a step parent, share this so you can tell them how much you appreciate what they do.

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  • Man! and you in the country that actually has bears! Reilly’s statement says it all…..cry a little…it’s good for your kids to see.

  • TJ

    No better testimony of your life, when a child says something like that!

  • Stacey Bussard

    WOW another great read, it made us LOL and cry, thank you for sharing.
    Reilly is a beautiful girl both inside and out, you and Christie should be so very proud!
    I also have a wonderful step-father that means the world to me!

  • Greg Box

    Wow – Now That’s A GOD Wink!

    Love ya man and thank you! All God’s Blessings To You And Your Family Always!


  • Carla Helms

    On July 11, this “step” is going to be the real thing! I am adopting my 33 year old son, Andrew Alvin Helms, at his request!. The “state” will recognize what God did almost 26 years ago when I married his father!

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