Here’s your sign

by Kevin on May 26, 2010

We’ve all seen them. Drive by nearly any church in America and you will see the funny, often witty, church signs out front. Cowboy Churches don’t typically have these plexiglass mini sermons on a pole, but if they did, this is probably what they’d say.

  1. Christian Cowboy Feed Store–It’s like Omolene for your soul.
  2. Warning! There ain’t no fashion show here. It’s more like a Vet Clinic.
  3. Join us in congratulating Sam and his wife on their new baby. He say’s it is a stud colt.
  4. If you’re lookin’ for the church, it ain’t here. The church is out in the pasture roundin’ up the lost.
  5. The biggest church word our pastor knows is “Jerusalem” and the best word he knows is “Grace”.
  6. All of our horses and most of the members have been Coggins tested. Come on in.
  7. We know what lies behind our narrow gate. Do you know what lies behind your fancy one?
  8. We ain’t gonna ride your bronc for you, but we’ll sure snub for you.
  9. Jesus invites everyone to him. Bays, sorrels, duns, palominos, mavericks, dogies, mad cows, black sheep, and even jackasses.
  10. We preach the whole Bible, except 2 Peter 2:16 (KJV). It just wouldn’t work in Cowboy Church.
  11. You do not have to bring a covered dish to the Lord’s Supper–just in case you were wondering.
  12. I don’t know if dogs go to heaven, but they can sure come in here.

Come on. You can do it. Come up with your own and post it in a comment. If you don’t know a Cowboy Church sign saying, tell us one that you’ve seen that tickled your funny bone.

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  • My two favorite church signs I ever saw:
    “God loves you. He really does. And not in a weird stalker kind of way either.”
    One church sign on a major road read, “Want to meet Jesus now? Start texting.”

    • Kevin

      Those are both good, but the first one kind of goes hand in hand with what I commented on your blog this morning. That was awesome reading and everyone should go see it here: Worth fighting for…

  • Really enjoyed your post. It will make me laugh throughout my tedious day. Thank you.

  • My former church in Kansas had one of those church signs. I got a lot of comments from people on some of them. Our church here in Colorado doesn’t–I miss my sign!

  • How about some cowboyisms?

    Don’t squat with your spurs on!

    Always drink upstream from the heard.

    Oh well. That’s my two cents. Not sure it was worth it.

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