How to find what you’re lookin’ for and know when you’ve found it.

by Kevin on April 28, 2010

I was goin’ through some real hard times when I went to work on the ranch in South Texas. I was really lonely in a lot more ways than one. I had chosen bein’ a cowboy over college life and girlfriends. I was the only one on the ranch that spoke English. My TV didn’t even speak English. I didn’t have a phone in the house (this was in the dark ages before cell phones) and was allowed one long distance call per week from the ranch office. I will forever be grateful to my Dad for drivin’ six hours on his one day off and bringin’ me Woodrow.

Woodrow was half blue heeler and half border collie. He had been given to me by a cowboy on the Rocker B Ranch. I remember kneelin’ down next to my new dog as my Dad and brother drove away. I won’t lie, there was a lump in my throat as I watched that orange and white pickup cross the cattle guard. But maybe my loneliness would be tempered by my new best friend.

The next day, we left headquarters to go move some steers and Woodrow jumped a four foot fence so he could go with me. I let him come along. In the twenty four hours we had been together, he hadn’t let me out of his sight.

To make a long story short, Woodrow and I got seperated when some steers ran off. The poor guy just couldn’t keep up. I thought he would find one of the other cowboys and go with them, but when we all met up, Woodrow was gone.

I spent the next three hours lookin’ for a young dog under every tree. I hollered until my voice was gone. I climbed three windmills and looked until there was very little light left. Finally, I rode back to headquarters with a heart so full of hurt that I thought it would break.

I had let my best friend down. All that dog had wanted  was to be by my side. He had scaled a wall that I thought was impossible to be with me. I could just imagine how he had run so hard to keep up with me and my horse. I pictured him lost in the pasture and alone. It was with these thoughts that I hung my head as I unsaddled my horse and tended to him. The emptiness inside me was something that I thought I could touch if I tried. Sadness and self blame are mighty powerful enemies to a young and lonely cowboy.

As I walked past the bunkhouse, one of the cowboys asked me in Spanish if I had found my dog. I didn’t even answer as I leaned up against the adobe wall and looked down at my boots and spurs. They all shook their heads and a couple of them talked about what a good dog he was. They all gave their condolences and one cowboy said, “Va a su casa! Todo esta bien. No tiene triste.” (Go to your house. Everything is alright. Don’t be sad).

I walked like a dead man condemned all the way to my house. I opened the gate and in the darkness, I caught a glimpse of some movement by the porch. My heart gave a shutter as I saw Woodrow running full speed across the yard toward me. I knelt down and that little dog nearly knocked me over as he jumped into my arms. A tear of relief and joy rolled down my cheek as Woodrow nuzzled his way under my arm.

By Llima

In the darkness, hunkered down with a dog, I apologized for runnin’ off and I told him how I had looked for him. I spilled my guts to this little friend as if he could understand. In a way, I think he did. But in his dark little eyes, there was no blame or condemnation, there was only joy at having me back where I belonged–right there beside him.

Luke 19:41-42 As Jesus approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes.

We look for what we need under mesquite bushes and cry out from the top of windmills for the things that will make us happy. But these things will never be found in places like this. You can look forever and not find that which you long for. Not until you give up the fight and come face to face with your emptiness and pain will you find the thing for which you are searchin’.

Only when you fully come to the realization that your need for God is the most important thing in the world will you find Him. He is not out in the pasture, but in your heart and in your home. Our own goals and worldly desires keep us from seein’ Him. Without Him, life is full of pain and sufferin’.

When you really find Jesus, a tear of joy and thankfulness will roll down your cheek as you finally find what you’ve been lookin’ for for so long. And when you spill your guts to Him, you will not find any blame or condemnation in His eyes–only joy at havin’ you back where you belonged all along. With Him.

I now understand, it wasn’t my dog or my God that was lost….I was.

Are you?

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  • PHILLIP HUBBARD

    Great stuff. I can plainly see why the Lord is using this website. May Daddy continue to bless your efforts for His glory.

    • Kevin

      Phillip,
      Thanks for the comment. I wish more people could see God as you do–Daddy!

  • Martin L Wilson, Pastor

    Howdy, Pastor.
    I was just in Monahans with some folks with the PVBA . Met John Kerry who knows ya’ll. I went with Mario Gonzalez who is the new church planting guy for BGCT. Just a hey and
    God Bless.

    • Kevin

      Good to hear from you Martin! I wish I had know you were gonna be in Monahans, maybe I could have come by and met you. Hope things are going well for you and I will continue to pray for God to use you in the Cowboy Church Ministry!

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