Jesus and Tony Llama

by Kevin on April 15, 2010

There is a nasty rumor that’s been in my family for years. It was first started by my younger brother. Like any good wife would, my sister-in-law insists that it is no rumor, but absolute truth. When I first married my wife, this flat out lie was told to my new bride and she fell right in with the rumor mongers and also insisted that it must be truth. I am here to set the record straight. I deny, denounce, and decree that I (almost) never have actually done what I so often am accused.

Before I tell you what I have been falsely accused of, you must know a little bit of background.

Preachers by nature tend to be, well, a little bit preachy at times. One thing that I have always preached to my wife and kids (also little brothers and their wives) is the importance of proper footwear. You will never hear me complain about feeding horses and getting a sticker in my toe because I was feeding in flippity-floppity shoes. My toes do not get smashed very easily by falling pipes because I have my boots on. I don’t ever have to go change into my boots to saddle up and ride my horse. My boots are always on. I have never been stung by a scorpion on the foot because they cannot sting through Tony Llama boots. Proper footwear should be taught from kindergarten to the senior year of high school.

I was flipping through channels the other night and came across a show that seemed kind of interesting. Of course, it doesn’t take me long to go through my favorites. Like any good cowboy, I check only the channels that I watch. I pay one kazillion dollars a month to watch the Weather Channel (I can name all of the meteorologists), RFD-TV, Discover Channel, Encore Westerns, and Animal Planet. While flipping through these five channels, I came across a show called River Monsters. The guy was trying to catch a fish that was supposedly around in the time of dinosaurs and could kill a hippo, climb trees, and even explain how our new health care plan was going to fix everything. This seemed like one bad hombre of a fish, but none of these things scared me as bad as what I saw this idiot doing.

Here was a guy carrying a fishing pole in the Amazon rain forest trying to catch a monster and the jughead was BAREFOOTED! I wouldn’t go into the Amazon without four pairs of boots, my old hat, a neckerchief, two shotguns, an Apache Indian, a sack of rice crispie treats, a bowie knife, and two dozen steer wrestlers. He was walkin’ up and down the river bank talkin’ about some big fish and I was curled up on the couch with phantom foot pains. Just watchin’ this guy go in and out of the water with his bare feet made my stomach hurt.

I have tender feet and you will never hear me utter the words, “Hang on while I put my boots on.” Which brings me back to the rumor. My brother swears that I sleep in my boots. I may walk around the house in sweat pants, but I have my boots on. They don’t come off EXCEPT when I go to bed.

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My brother used to say that he didn’t need an alarm clock. He just listened for heavy boots on bare floors and he knew it was time to get up. I will admit that putting on my boots is one of the first things I do before I leave my room in the morning. But nothing will ever catch me off guard. I don’t have to worry about stinging bugs. I have never had to wash my feet because the cow dog couldn’t wait to go outside. I am even protected if there happens to be a snake or a one foot centipede in the house (both of those have happened). The point is, I am always ready because I exercise the great point that Jesus made in Luke 12:35.

Luke 12:35 (SCVSimplified Cowboy Version)

“Be dressed (with your boots on) ready for service and keep your campfire burning,..”

So maybe Jesus wasn’t actually referring to keeping your boots on twenty-two hours a day like I do, but we do need to always be ready. Let’s face it, none of us have an expiration date on the bottom of our Lucchese boots so we have to be ready at all times.

When we look at our Christian lives in a way that says, “I am not ready to give up everything because I am having too much fun”, we run the risk of not being ready when Christ returns or we go up to meet Him. We don’t have to sleep with our boots on, but we better not be caught barefooted when our time comes.

Have a seat at the fire and let us know if you are ready!

© Kevin Weatherby, 2010

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  • Kevn,
    I’ve been reading your old posts and noticed this one didn’t have a comment.

    Like you I wear my boots all the time and like you I believe they’re a tool that you have to put on early. Our lives are much like putting boots on first thing in the morning, because if we decide to not put on one tool in our lives it can wreck the outcome of the entire day. An example for me is prayer and my time with God in the morning… if I skip that then I might as well just sit in the truck all day.

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