MacGyver ain’t got nothin’ on cowboys

by Kevin on June 21, 2010

When you live 30 miles from the nearest hardware store, you learn to use a variety of things in a variety of situations. The people who made that hit show MacGyver, they had a cowboy as a consultant. Cowboys can figure out how to fix things or at least patch them with the simplest things he has laying around. I had lightning strike the house about 5 years ago and ruined my computer. I know I should have had a surge protector, but it was outside running the air compressor, the drill, two heat lamps, a fountain pump, weedeater, radio, chair massager, battery charger, two ceiling fans, burned up coffee maker, curlin’ iron (you can use one of these as a runnin’ iron for branding if they are skinny enough), and a cell phone charger.

Well, this computer wasn’t working, so I didn’t figure I would break it by trying to fix it. It was already fried. I opened it up to see if anything was wrong. The whole durn thing looked like a hippie pack rat’s nest with all the colorful wires and green boards. I didn’t know the first thing about what any of that stuff did.

I figured I would just start where the cord went in the back. I had to take about fourteen screws the size of a pencil lead out just to get into the little box where the cord goes. I didn’t have a screwdriver that small so I just took a hacksaw and opened it like everyone else. That is how ya’ll would do it, right? Anyway, the first thing I saw in this little box was a fuse. It was not a big fuse, but it didn’t take an electrical graduate to see that the durned thing was blown. I had never seen a fuse like this in my whole life. I didn’t know where I was going to find a “little weird computer fuse” store. So I did the next best thing. I made one out of baling wire.

All a fuse does is make electricity go from one side of it to another. Wire will do that. I went out to the horse pens and got some wire that was tied up there. I didn’t use the good stuff, I used the real rusty one. It didn’t have to be pretty. It just had to run a little electricity. I taped that little piece of baling wire on the outside of that fuse and secured it with a little piece of duct tape. It’s very hard to get a piece of duct tape that small. I was afraid at one point I was going to have to get some bubble gum. In the end though, the toughest part was getting the blasted thing back together, not fixing it. I had hacksawed all the little screws off and I couldn’t figure out how to get the cover back on. If I hadn’t seen that cover come off there with my own two eyes, I would have bet you a good dog that the cover was off something else.

I plugged the computer in and hit the magic button. The thing fired right up and I used it for about three more years, working and playing video games as csgo and LOL, even switching and buying game items in sites like Now that baling wire was not ever intended to be used to fix a computer. It might have worked out alright, but that definitely was not the tool for the job.

In our walk with Christ, part of our learning is figuring out what we are to do with the things that we have. Too often, we use something that he gave us in very wrong applications. I don’t know anyone that dries the dishes with the pages of a Bible. You don’t use the cross hanging on the wall as a ninja throwing star. You shouldn’t use the picture of the “Last Supper” to line the bottom of the dog house. Nor should we use our mouth’s for anything but good words and giving thanks to God.

Our mouth’s are generally what gets us in trouble. Gossipin’, talkin’ smack, filthy language are a normal part of most people’s day. If we can’t learn to control the biggest hole in our face, how can we learn how to live a Godly life?

Ephesians 5:4
4 There must not be any unclean speech or foolish talk or dirty jokes. All of them are out of place. Instead, you should give thanks.

Try it for one day. Don’t use any cuss word. Don’t tell one dirty joke. Don’t talk bad about anyone. If you absolutely, positively, no other way around it, all other choices have been tried, have to open your mouth today and speak, let it be for good, not garbage.

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  • Taming the tongue is a hard thing to do. I often ask my children if what they are saying is hurtful or helpful. If we would all answer that simple question our speech would be a little more friendly towards one another.

    • Kevin

      Like Richard commented, I have to be careful at home. I am good at work and other places, but then I get home and kind of use my wife as a spiritual garbage dump. I tell her everything and some of those things don’t need to be said because they were not out of love.

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  • Last night I caught myself (or maybe the Holy Spirit caught me) saying some things to my wife about a church member. They were not harmful things, but they were not particularly helpful or needful either. I sinned. I confessed. I’m cleansed. Now the trick is to avoid doing it again. Maybe I need MacGyver to wire up a fix for my tongue. –Richard

    • Kevin

      I think those are the hardest to catch. The things that aren’t necessarily wrong, but may be on the fringe. It’s best to just go by that old saying, “If you ain’t got nothing nice to say, shut your pie hole.”

  • Short answer would be to get a V-chip installed in our brains like Cartman did in the South Park Movie (rated R for profanity and all kinds of nastyness if you haven’t seen it already). That way anytime we swear or gossip or anything we get a nice comforting electric shock along the lines of 3,000 volts 😀

    Seriously though, it’s part of the discussion we’ll be starting with my youth soon: Passion for Purity (Mindy, Body and Soul). We’ll see how it goes.

    • Kevin

      That would be like a hotshot hickory handle in our brains. I need one of those.

  • Your stories have a way of sucking me in because I enjoy them and then you whup me upside the head with some truth that is usually convicting, as is the case today. What’s in the well of my heart comes out in the bucket of my mouth! Great truth to ponder and apply today!

    • Kevin

      Way to let God speak at you Nolan. Glad to have you back.

  • As always, I enjoyed the story. I could just see you wiring the fuse in the computer. And the hacksaw. My husband would cringe but I’m laughing because it worked!
    Thanks for your comment over at my place. Glad you were blessed by the gratitudes. For a cure to “relaxertion” at night, try Psalm 4:8.

    • Kevin

      I will. Thank you Janis!

  • Well I’m one part giggling insanely and one part shouting “noooooooooooooooooooo!” As a tech who made a living fixing PSU’s I’m cringing inside at what might happen next….!

    This should also be a lesson in not stepping outside our skillsets and trying to do stuff we so obviously aren’t menat to do – mine would be preaching. Now I don’t mean not stepping outside our comfort zone as that is a different ball of string altogether.

    However, I’m in awe of your willingness to risk life & limb for some data on a computer and will try to maintain the mental picture of you hacksawing into a PSU as a guide to me to risk life & limb for Jesus’s sake.

    • Kevin

      Maybe your skill set does involve a little preaching Stuart!! Great comment.

  • Great conversation going here. I love how you fixed the computer with wire, couldn’t you get electrocuted doing that?

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