Simply Easter – Part 1

by Kevin on March 16, 2011

For the next six weeks, we will take a look at the Easter season beginning when Jesus enters Jerusalem in Matthew 26. This story will culminate on Easter Sunday with Christ risin’ from the grave. Please sit back and enjoy a verse by verse paraphrase in the Simplified Cowboy Version.

Matthew 26

Planning and Plotting to Kill Jesus

When Jesus was done talking, he said to his cowboys, 2 “Passover is in a couple of days and it will be then that the Boss’ Son will be double crossed by one his own and killed.”

3 It was at this time that the big wigs of the church were meetin’ at the high priest’s townhouse and 4 tryin’ to come up with a plan to kill Jesus. 5 “We can’t do anything durin’ the Passover,” they agreed, “or we will have a riot on our hands.”

Jesus at Bethany

6 Meanwhile, Jesus was hangin’ out in the town of Bethany with a fellow named Simon that used to have the bad skin rot. 7 While he was there, a woman came in with a jar of very expensive perfume and she used all of it on Jesus.

8 The cowboys couldn’t believe she had wasted something so valuable by just pourin’ it on Jesus. 9 “That could have been sold for a bunch of money and given to those that can’t buy food or clothes!” they said.

10 But Jesus got on to them and said, “Wait a minute! Why are y’all criticizin’ what this cowgirl has done for me? 11 There will always be poor folks, but I won’t always be here like I am now. 12 She has poured this perfume on me to prepare my body for the grave. 13 I’m tellin’ you the truth when I say that this woman’s deed here tonight will be remembered and taught wherever the Good News is preached throughout this entire world.”

Judas Double-Crosses Jesus

14 About this time, the dirty double crosser Judas Iscariot, one of the cowboys that rode for Jesus, went to the leaders in the church 15 and asked, “How much will you pay me to double cross Jesus?” They handed him thirty pieces of silver. 16 He then began lookin’ for a way to ambush Jesus and turn him over to them.

The Last Supper

17 On the first day of the Celebration of the Thin Bread, the cowboys that rode for Jesus came up to him and asked, “Where are we supposed to make the biscuits for the Passover Supper?”

18 “When you get to town,” Jesus said, “you will see a certain fellow. Tell him, ‘The Trail Guide says: My time is up and I will eat the Passover Supper at your table with the cowboys that ride for me.’” 19 The cowboys did what they were told to do and made sup’ where they were told to.

20 After the sun had gone down, Jesus sat down at the table with all of his cowboys. 21 While they were eatin’, he said, “Y’all listen up! One of you is a dirty double crosser and has betrayed me.”

22 The cowboys couldn’t believe their ears and each one asked, “It ain’t me is it, Lord?”

23 He replied, “One of you who is sittin’ at this table sharin’ biscuits with me is the dirty rat. 24 The Boss’ Son must die as it was said long ago in the Good Book.  But it’s gonna be awfully terrible for the one that snitches him off. It would have been better if he’d never been born.”

25 Judas, the one who would do the dirty deed, also asked, “Do you think it’s me?”

Jesus told him, “You said it, I didn’t.”

26 As they were eatin’, Jesus took a biscuit and blessed it. Then he broke it into some pieces and handed a piece to each cowboy. He said, “Take this and eat it. It represents my body that will be broken for y’all and every other cowboy and cowgirl.”

27 Then Jesus took a coffee cup that had wine it and blessed it. He passed it around the table for everyone to get a drink of and said, “Y’all getcha a swallow of this. 28 It represents my blood that my Dad will use to make a new covenant with everyone that believes in me. My blood will be spilt in the dirt as a sacrifice so that the sins of many will be forgiven. 29 I won’t drink wine again until the day I drink it with y’all on my Father’s spread.”

30 They sang a song about God and went to Olive Hill.

Peter is Gonna Deny Jesus

31 As they rode over to Olive Hill, Jesus told them, “Tonight, all of y’all are gonna shuck out on me. The Good Book says,

‘The Boss will slay the Trail Guide and the herd will scatter.’

32 But after I come back from the grave, I will meet ya’ll in Galilee.”

33 Pete said, “I don’t care if everyone shucks out for the hills, I ain’t leavin’ you.”

34 “I’m tellin’ you the truth Pete,” Jesus said, “Before the sun comes up, you will deny that you ever rode with me three times.”

35 Pete stood up and stomped his foot as he said, “Even if I have to die with you to prove it, I will never deny ridin’ with you.” And all of Jesus’ crew made the same vow and waved their hats in the air.

Print Friendly

  • Becky B.

    SCV makes reading the Bible fun and enjoyable. I loved reading this story, it was so easy to understand too. Thanks for making SCV.

Previous post:

Next post: