Simply Easter – Part 2

by Kevin on March 23, 2011

Last week we started a six part series where we will take a look at the Easter season beginning when Jesus enters Jerusalem in Matthew 26. This story will culminate on Easter Sunday with Christ giving The Great Cow-mission. Please sit back and enjoy a verse by verse paraphrase in the Simplified Cowboy Version. If you missed the first part, check it out here.

Matthew 26 (cont.)

Torture in the Garden

36 Then Jesus and his boys rode over to a place called Gethsemane and he told ‘em, “Y’all wait here while I go over yonder and talk to my Dad.” 37 He motioned for Pete, James, and John to go with him and Jesus began to get upset and troubled. 38 Then Jesus told the three cowboys, “I feel as if I will be crushed by the pain and sorrow I’m feelin’ right now. I’m worried that it might actually kill me. Y’all wait right here and take first watch while I go and talk to my Dad.”

39 Jesus rode a little further and then stepped off and laid face down in the dirt and said, “Daddy, please don’t make me go through this cruel deed that is comin’. If it’s possible, will you find another way? But if this is the only way and it is your will, then I submit to that.”

40 Jesus rode back over to where his boys were keepin’ watch and found them fast asleep. “Could y’all not keep watch like I asked you to for even one hour?” he asked Pete. 41 “Say your prayers and keep watch so that you will not fall into temptation again. I know that your hearts are willin’ to ride with me no matter what, but your bodies are weak.”

42 Jesus went away again a second time and prayed, “Daddy, if there ain’t another way to get this done except by me going through this dastardly deed, then so be it. I just want to please you.”

43 When Jesus went back to his boys, he found them asleep again. 44 This time, he didn’t say anything, but went back and prayed a third time, sayin’ the exact same thing.

45 He finally came back and woke them up by sayin’ to them, “Are y’all still sleepin’? Get up, for the hour has arrived, and the Boss’ Son has been double crossed by one of his own cowboys into the hands of sinners. 46 Get up now! We will go meet them and not let them find us cowerin’ in a garden. Here comes my betrayer now!”

Jesus is Double Crossed and Arrested

47 While Jesus was sayin’ this, Judas, one of the twelve cowboys that rode with Jesus, arrived at the garden. Following Judas was a posse of armed men, sent from the big whigs of the church. 48 Judas told the posse to watch and he would give them a sign as to which man was Jesus. “The one I walk up and shake hands with is Jesus. He’s the one to arrest.” 49 Judas walked straight up to Jesus and said, “How ya doin’ boss!!” and shook Jesus’ hand.

50 Jesus said, “Alright boys, y’all go ahead and do what you’ve come to do.”

A few guys from the posse stepped forward and grabbed Jesus. 51 Right then, one of Jesus’ cowboys pulled a knife out of his boot and cut off one of the man’s ears that had grabbed him.

52 “Put that knife away”, Jesus said, “if you pull a knife you will die by the knife. 53 If I wanted to defend myself, I could ask my Father to send twelve thousand winged riders to come and rescue me. 54 But if I did this, how would the things that must be done be fulfilled?”

55 Jesus turned to the posse and asked, “Am I the leader of some outlaw gang? Have I done any violence to anyone that warrants y’all comin’ out here to arrest me with all these weapons? Every day I sat in the church teachin’ everyone about God and you never arrested me there. 56 But all of this must happen this way in order to fulfill what the great cowboys that rode for my dad long ago had said would happen.” Jesus watched as every one of his cowboys jumped on their horses and loped away in fear.

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