Genesis 1
1 In the beginnin’ the Boss started this here Outfit.
2 The outfit, which the Boss elected to call heavens and earth, hadn’t been surveyed, staked, nor fenced yet, and was kinda empty, and darkness covered all the tanks, springs, creeks, rivers and lakes. And the Spirit of the Boss was hovering over the surface of those waters.
3 Then the Boss said, “Let’s have us some light,” and there was light.
4 And the Boss saw that the light was good. Then He drew a line twixt the light and the darkness.
5 The Boss called the light “day” and the darkness “night.”
And evenin’ passed and mornin’ came, markin’ the first day.
6 Then the Boss said, “Let’s have us some space ‘tween the waters, to separate the waters of the heavens from the waters of the earth.”
7 And that’s just what happened. The Boss made this space to separate the waters of the earth from the waters of the heavens.
8 The Boss called the space “sky.”
And evenin’ passed and mornin’ came, markin’ the second day.
9 Then the Boss said, “Let the waters underneath the sky flow together into one place, so dry ground may appear.” And that’s what happened.
10 The Boss called the dry ground “land” and the waters “seas.” And the Boss saw that it sure was good.
11 Then the Boss said, “Let the land sprout with plants—ever’thing that’s got seeds in it, includin’ trees that grow seed-bearin’ fruit. These seeds will then produce the same kinds of plants and trees that they came from.” And that’s just what happened.
12 The land produced vegetation—all kindsa plants, and fruit trees. Their seeds produced plants and trees of the same kind. And the Boss saw that it was good.
13 And evenin’ passed and mornin’ came, markin’ the third day.
14 Then the Boss said, “Let lights appear in the sky to separate the day from the night. Let ‘em mark off the seasons, days, and years.
15 Let these lights in the sky shine down on the earth.” And that’s just what happened.
16 The Boss made two good-sized lights—the larger one to shine down on us durin’ the day, and the smaller one to shine down on us at night. He also made a whole sky fulla stars.
17 The Boss set these lights up in the sky to light the earth,
18 and to run things day and night, and to separate out the light from the darkness. And the Boss saw that it sure was good.
19 And evenin’ passed and mornin’ came, markin’ the fourth day.
20 Then the Boss said, “Let the water fill up with all kindsa fish and other kinds of critters. Let the skies fill up with all kindsa birds.”
21 So the Boss created great big sea critters and every livin’ thing that scurries and swarms in the water, and every kind of bird—each makin babies of the same kind. And the Boss saw that it sure was good.
22 Then the Boss laid a blessin’ on ‘em, sayin’, “Y’all go on out and make a bunch more babies. Let the fish fill up the seas, and let the birds lay a buncha eggs on up there in their nests.”
23 And evenin’ passed and mornin’ came, markin’ the fifth day.
24 Then the Boss said, “Let the earth produce ever kinda critter, each makin’ babies of the same kind—livestock, small critters that scamper along the ground, and wild animals.” And that’s what happened.
25 The Boss made all kinda wild animals, livestock, and small critters, each able to make babies of the same kind. And the Boss saw that it sure was good.
26 Then the Boss said, “Let’s Us make some folks in Our image, to be like Us. They’ll be in charge of the fish, the birds, the livestock, all the wild critters on the earth, and the small critters that scamper along the ground.”
27 So the Boss created us human beans in His own image.
In the image of the Boss He created ‘em;
male and female He created ‘em.
28 Then the Boss laid a blessin’ on ‘em and said, “Y’all go on out and make a buncha babies. Start ya a big ol’ family and take care of all my critters an’ crops, y’all are in charge now.”
29 Then the Boss said, “Look here! I’ve given y’all every plant in the world and all the fruit trees for your food.
30 And I’ve given every green plant as food for all the wild critters, the birds in the sky, and the small critters that scamper along the ground—ever’thing that has life.” And that’s what happened.
31 Then the Boss looked over that whole outfit, which he had put together with His own two hands and His own spoken words, and He saw that it sure was real good!
And evenin’ passed and mornin’ came, markin’ the sixth day.
Special thanks to Don Coyote for helpin’ me out with this. Please check out Simplified Cowboy Version’s new facebook page by clicking here.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey buddy,
That is great stuff!
Thanks Larry.
Great stuff, and love the logo.
Yeah, that logo rocks if I say so myself.
Great Stuff Cowboy- Thank You!
Thanks for stopping by amigo. Come back soon.
I like simplified cowboy version, is there a printed Bible in SCV?
Not yet there’s not.
Does that mean there is a printed version in the works?
The Gospel of Matthew should be out before Christmas.
Sorry I just don’t see it as Bible. It’s a cool cartoon to read but I wonder what God thinks about what’s happened to his word. I know he said we weren’t to take away from it or add to. I thank God that its my choice I exercise to not be involved in this. May God forgive you.
It’s not the Bible Wayne. Never passed it off as such. It’s a paraphrase to hopefully spark interest in the real Bible that some cowboys have never read.
You’re right, it’s your choice. And may God forgive you for tryin’ to look down on those that are tryin’ to reach cowboys for Christ. God bless you.
Way I see it, it’s all about reachin’ people where and how they live.
And I thank Jesus that God forgave me for bein’ religious, amongst other things.
I’m on board with Kevin and Dan here. This is by no means an attempt to rewrite the bible, there are plenty of other people already trying to do that. This is more like Paul on the acropolis using the language and terms of the people around him to preach the gospel.
I’ll thank God and praise Him for the people who are brave enough to step out and do something different then turn around and glorify Him for/with it.
I don’t remember chapter and verse, Seiji, but I do remember that Paul said somethin’ like:
“It don’t matter how the Gospel is preached, just as long as it’s preached”, so there it is.