Things you need to do (and not do) when someone is mad at you.

by Kevin on October 28, 2010

How do you react when someone gets mad at you? What if someone demands an explanation from you about why you did something? Probably the hardest part of Christianity isn’t loving our Lord, it’s dealin’ with His knot-headed children.

No Explanations

There is no where in the Bible that says that you owe someone else in this world an explanation. Obviously, I am not talking about being questioned by the authorities or something similar. When someone gets mad and attacks us, we feel the need to explain our actions. We feel the need to defend ourselves.

The only person we owe an explanation to is our Lord and Savior. And he already knows the whole story, but he wants us to pour out that story to him anyway. Whether we are right or wrong in any situation, if it bothers us, he wants to know about it.

No Excuses

Sometimes people will get mad at you for a good reason. Maybe you did something that was wrong and you know it. When these times come up, and they will, you need to apologize and ask for forgiveness….that’s all. Do not make excuses.

We all have a bad habit of saying, “Well, I know what I did wasn’t right, BUT….” When you make a mistake and it affects someone else, be cowboy or cowgirl enough to admit it, apologize, and ask forgiveness. There is nothing more you can do. Leave it right there. If the other person keeps on, just tell them that you’ve already done all you could. You don’t have to listen to them replaying the whole scene over and over again. Once you’ve done your part, that’s it. Don’t even make promises about the future. Just ask forgiveness and apologize. That’s all you can do.

No arguing

I recently had a situation where someone was upset with me. I apologized, I asked them to forgive me for the offense, and then I kept my mouth shut. They wanted to bring up other stuff that I did not do. Some of their claims, I know for a fact, were completely false. Not a little bit misconstrued, they were completely false.

I didn’t say a word. When a person isn’t telling the truth or is misinformed, facts mean very little. I let them talk. It was so hard not to defend myself, but all I had were facts and they were not worried about the truth. I just said, “Ok…I see…” and I let them get it off their chest. That’s the first time in my life that I completely kept my mouth shut.

Arguing does nothing but hurt and solves nothing. It’s a contest of who can the most upset and say the most hurtful things.

Forgive them

This might be the hardest part of all. You must not hold a grudge against them. You are commanded to forgive them whether they ask for it or not. The Bible says not to go into prayer if you are harboring ill will towards another person. If you can’t forgive someone, don’t expect the same from God.

But just because you forgive them doesn’t mean that you have to continue in the same type of relationship with that person. If someone asks you to look in on their house while they are gone and then accuses you of stealing things, I wouldn’t agree to look in on their house again the next time they ask.

If someone gets a foul mouth when they have a beer, it’s alright to gather up your kids and go home from the BBQ when the beer gets opened. That doesn’t mean that you haven’t forgiven them from the last time it happened and it doesn’t mean that you don’t love them. You can forgive and love and still choose not to be around that person in that situation.

2 Timothy 2:23-26

23 Don’t have anything to do with arguing. It is dumb and foolish. You know it only leads to fights. 24 Anyone who serves the Lord must not fight. Instead, he must be kind to everyone. He must be able to teach. He must not hold anything against anyone. 25 He must gently teach those who oppose him. Maybe God will give a change of heart to those who are against you. That will lead them to know the truth. 26 Maybe they will come to their senses. Maybe they will escape the devil’s trap. He has taken them prisoner to do what he wanted.

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  • Don Coyote

    I heard some cowboy poetry the other day, about an old timer’s wisdom. One of his sayings was:

    “It takes a big dawg to weigh a hundred”.

    Now that’s pretty deep if you think on it for awhile and it kinda applies to this lesson, here.

    My grandma’s second husband was a stove-up Cracker Cowboy who turned to blacksmithing. He wouldn’t shoe a mule because he said that two by four’s made from Florida jack-pine wouldn’t stand up as an attention-getter and Arkansas Black-oak was too expensive. In my particular case, the scriptural two by fours work just fine. Today’s lesson did just that, caught me between the eyes. Thanks

    • Kevin

      Your welcome, but I hope it didn’t leave a mark. Or maybe I should hope that it did.

  • Not arguing? Ah man now that’s a tall order.

  • That would make a lowsy Cowboy Movie. Meet me outside at high noon is a much better plot. 🙂

    All joking aside, these are great points. I openly admit that this is not a strength for me. But usually when I am approached by someone that I do not expect it from. It catches me off guard and throws me for a loop. In those times I usually respond impulsively.

    Thanks for the good word.

    • Kevin

      You and me both Larry!!

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