What Everyone Ought to Know About Bank Robbers and Hookers

by Kevin on February 27, 2011

Good Sons, Bad Sons, Bank Robbers and Hookers

28 Jesus said, “Let me ask y’all this. There was a cowboy that had two boys. He went to the oldest and said, ‘Go check on the cattle in the pasture and make sure they are all there.’

29 “’I’m not goin’ to check on nothing’ the boy said, but later he felt bad and went and did what his dad asked him to.

30 “Then the cowboy went and told the second boy to do the same thing and go check on the cattle. The boy said, ‘Yes sir! I’ll go right now,’ but the boy never did.

31 “Which of the two boys did what their dad wanted them to?”

“The first boy,” they said.

Jesus told ‘em, “Listen to what I say, the bank robbers and the hookers are getting to the Boss’ Ranch in heaven before you are! 32 John came and showed you how to make things right with the Boss and you shunned his message, but the bank robbers and hookers listened to him. Even after all you have seen, you still don’t turn from your sorry way of life or believe him.”

33 “Listen to this story: There was a farmer who planted a field of alfalfa. He fenced it off and even put a lookout tower on the edge of the field. After all the work was done, he rented it out to some other people and went on a long adventure. 34 When it was time for the hay to be baled, the farmer sent some of his employees to collect his part of the hay.

35 “The renters took the employees and beat the snot out one of ‘em and killed two of the others. 36 The farmer then sent some more hired hands and the renters jumped them and did the same thing they had before. 37 Finally, the farmer sent his only son. He thought surely they would respect him.

38 “The renters saw the son comin’ and said to one another, ‘Here comes the farmer’s boy! If we kill him, then we can have his inheritance and own this place.’ 39 So they took the son and strung him up.

40 “What do y’all think the farmer is gonna do to these renters?” Jesus asked.

41 “The farmer is gonna kill them all and take back the field and rent it to some people that will bale the hay like they are supposed to and give the farmer his part,” they replied.

42 Jesus said to them, “Have you never read the Good Book where it says:

“‘The perfect calf ever has been rejected by the cowboys. The Lord has done this and it’s an amazin’ to our eyes.’

43 “The Boss’ Ranch is going to be taken from the cowboys he entrusted with it and given to those who will work the ranch and give back to him what He is due. 44 The cowboy that ignores this calf and falls over it will be broken, but the cowboy on whom the calf steps will be crushed.”

45 When the head preachers and the Hypocritical Pastors heard this story, they knew that Jesus was talkin’ about them. 46 They wanted a reason to throw him in jail, but they were afraid because the people thought he was sent from God.

Matthew 21:28-46 (SCV-Simplified Cowboy Version)

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