You Didn’t Act Like Any Preacher I’ve Ever Seen

by Kevin on May 1, 2012

“If a foul ball comes this way, people won’t think I’m a preacher.”

These were prophetic words spoken by me at a Colorado Rockies game recently. Some friends from church invited my wife and I to attend a game against the New York Mets and our seats were about twenty rows behind home plate.

The Rockies were killing the Mets and scored eleven runs in one inning. I don’t think I’d ever seen eleven runs scored at all the games I’ve ever been to (the number of which I can count on one hand). I even got to see a grand slam.

Late in the game, Carlos Gonzales stepped up to bat. He had already hit one home run so I was paying close attention. My keen cowboy concentration proved beneficial in more ways than one.

A couple of pitches into his at-bat, Carlos hit a fastball that went screaming backwards and right over the protective net…and right at my head.

I’m not kidding!

I saw the ball coming and Sonny yelled, “Here it comes!” I never left my seat but just extended my two hands in front of my face in preparation to catch the ball.

Have you ever heard a .22 bullet ricochet? That’s what this ball sounded like as it approached. The spinning of the ball was audible, but I was unfazed. I wasn’t going to let this foul ball get away from me.

This was going to be the coolest foul ball catch ever seen! I was probably going to end up on ESPN for the nonchalant way I just held up my hands and caught this ball without leaving my seat. Good Morning America would catch wind of my accomplishment and have me on their program, and then later that afternoon, I was going to make an appearance on Red Steagall’s “Bunkhouse” show.

It didn’t work out as planned.

To put things in perspective, during the next meteor shower, go out and catch one with your bare hands. Better yet, give a mailbox a high-five while you’re driving 100 mph down the highway.

The ball hit my hands and bounced back behind my seat. Pain had erupted as if I had dipped my hands in acid, but I put that aside and dove behind me to receive my prize…it was there that I met a 20 year old kid that wanted my ball.

I flanked him like a calf and then went over the top of him. The ball was rolling down the aisle and I dove for it. If you’d like to experience this part of the story, just find some asphalt pavement, make a fist, and then run your knuckles down the street about a block and a half.

I finally got my hands on this ball that I endured so much over. I jumped to my feet and held my hands up in triumph. I kicked the kid in the ribs for good measure and then sat back down to the cheers of 35,000 people.

After some high fives and a closer inspection of the ball, I heard a voice behind me say, “You sure wanted that ball.” The young man’s breath must have returned from the flanking that I had smacked down on him.

I turned around in my seat and smiled at him as I said, “Would it surprise you if I told you I was a preacher?”

“You didn’t act like any preacher I’ve ever seen,” the boy said incredulously.

I smiled at him and said, “Amen.”

(I didn’t really kick the kid in the ribs.)

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  • too funny! Keep ’em coming!

  • Greg Box

    Love it now that’s funny! !!!

    Blessings To You And Your Family!!!!!

  • You don’t act like any preacher I have ever seen either. Which is precisely why I love ya. Keep fighting, my friend! 🙂

  • Kari Ivey

    Next time you might want to take a baseball glove, im sure Griffin would let you borrow one!!

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